


10 Things Bruce Will Never Tell Anyone

by WorldsUnreal



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Drabble Collection, Fatherhood, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Kinda Slow Build, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-08
Updated: 2015-04-05
Packaged: 2017-12-28 20:28:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/996222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WorldsUnreal/pseuds/WorldsUnreal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A day out for Bruce and Dick</p>
          </blockquote>





	1. Laughter

The first time he heard Dick laugh was before he ever knew how blue his eyes were. Or how bright his smile was.

It was a warm summer night, and yet the city still felt as cold and distant as it ever was. The air reeked and the sewers’ shallow water was an acrid brown. 

He was latched on a stone ridge, as still and silent as the city’s somber sky.

A travelling circus had just arrived in Gotham. He’d heard many things about it. Some things were merely trivial, but others were… not so good. Word was going around that Haly, the man who ran the joint, was being threatened. And according to the rumors, Haly wasn’t handling it all too well.

It was late, but the place wasn’t asleep yet. A handful of circus workers hurried about to set finishing touches for the coming night’s big show. The rest were gathered around a campfire in the middle of the clearing, sharing stories in the quiet of the night. He watched, and listened. 

There was the continuous rumble of a hearty man telling the story about his youth in the East. A couple of youngsters looked up at the man with big-eyed wonder and begged him to tell them more about his adventurous youth.

The crackling campfire was oddly comforting. There was something to it that the city’s bright, harsh lights never quite had. 

If he were given the choice, he wouldn’t want to leave the circus for the restless urban nightmare that awaited him. But there really wasn’t any reason to stay anymore. He needed to return to the ever-turbulent city that was Gotham. Gotham. The city of dreams. The city of tomorrow. The city of lights. 

Lies. Gotham was the city where dreams were forgotten and abandoned. 

He pulled out his grappling hook and aimed it at a sturdy outcrop, when he heard it. Bright and lively. It spoke of kindess and warmth and everything he ever wanted. He immediately stilled, holding his breath, listening if it would come again. But it didn’t.

He looked back at the campfire. At the man who told his great tale and all the others who listened, in awe and silence. 

It must have come from one of the smaller tents. There were quite a few, scattered around the circus’ main one in the middle, but only one still had its light on. The small tent glowed with a dim, orange light. He could see silhouettes moving inside, but he couldn’t really make out any shapes.

He sighed and made to leave once more, when heard it again. Louder this time.

It was innocent and _happy_ and it reminded him of everything he could never have. It didn’t belong in Gotham.

He stared at the tent again, hoping to see where it came from. But the silhouettes stilled and the light went off as they settled for the night.

He sighed, and wrenched his eyes away. It wasn’t for him to find out. Besides, there were things to do in Gotham and a scammer to find. 

\---

In the wee hours of the morning, back in the safety of his own bedroom, he tried and failed to fall asleep. He was angry and confused, because for once, for once in all the time he had spent in darkness and in grief, he felt _hope_ , and he had _forgotten_ what that felt like. He had forgotten what he should do with it. 

But that laughter… It was- it was-

All he could think about when he saw the headlines in the papers the following day.

“Alfred.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Could you get two tickets for Vicki and I?”

“Certainly, sir. But if I may ask, why the sudden interest in circuses?”

“Just felt for a change.”

He would never tell anyone but he desperately hoped that maybe, just maybe he would hear it again.

And yes. He did.

And it was the most beautiful sound in all the world. 


	2. Dates

It was way past Dick’s bedtime. The night was warm and quiet, but in the enlightened interior of Restaurant _Rose D’or,_ the outside world was easily forgotten. The string quartet and the meticulously arranged bouquets on each table were, just like everything else in the restaurant, beautiful.

If he could just remember what beauty once was.

“Brucey, do cheer up.” Laurensia was beautiful too, “It _is_ such a _lovely_ night.”

“I’m sorry, Lauren, it was a long day.”

“Oh, poor boy.” And she reached across the table to caress his hand, “They really never spare any of us a break, do they?”

“They might not, but in either case, I’m all yours tonight.”

Lauren’s full lips curled into a knowing smile. She truly was very beautiful.

If he could just remember what beauty once meant.

It was way past Dick’s bedtime, and he should probably chastise Dick for this, but he knew that the shift in the light’s shadows belonged to a certain sprightly acrobat. He didn’t even have to look, he just knew.

“So Bruce, tell me, what is it that you do in your free time. Please don’t say you never have any, because I might just not believe you.”

“I take interest in many things, but spending my time with a woman as charismatic and attractive as you are certainly tops most of them.”

“You definitely know how to treat a girl, Bruce. It’s no wonder they call you prince charming.”

The night wore on. The string quartet performed piece after exquisite piece flawlessly, and Lauren was nothing but delightful. There had been many moments during their dinner when Lauren’s body language _begged_ for nothing but a kiss. Bruce could have easily leaned into Lauren and kiss those cherry-red lips. But he didn’t.

Not in front of Dick.

Instead, he watched the way the light danced off the crystal décor, catching every flicker and quiver. Dick was moving ever so silently across the ceiling to get a clearer view of their table. A shift in the twinkles of his polished champagne flute and he knew that Dick was directly above them.

And when the shifting lights stilled, he waited, as Lauren twined her elegant fingers around his, and allowed his thoughts to wander to Dick. His cheeky little boy, his brave Robin. What was he doing here of all places and times?

It was getting late, after all.

“Thank you, Brucey, dear. I had a wonderful night.” They were outside now. Lauren’s chestnut-brown hair was swept by the warm, evening breeze. It really was, like she had said, a lovely night.

If only he could remember how beautiful beauty once was.

“So did I, Lauren.  Will you be alright? I could take you home.”

Lauren giggled, “Always the ladies’ man, Bruce. I’ll be alright. I’m a big girl, remember?”

Another moment when he could have taken hold of her delicate cheek and press his lips into hers. It would have been sweet, and she would have been so eager. But not when he knew Dick was watching so intently. Not when he could almost feel Dick’s bright, blue eyes _memorizing_ his every move and his every word.

“Unfortunately, I remember all too well.”

Lauren smiled again, perhaps a little disappointed that nothing transpired between them, and decided she was bored of waiting. The kiss he felt at the corner of his mouth wasn’t entirely unwelcome, but the subtlest quiver in the shadows instantly made the gesture repulsive. He pulled away as gently as he could without offending her.

“Your taxi is here, Lauren. Are you sure you wouldn’t like me to take you home instead? It’s just around the corner.”

“Really, Bruce. I’ll be _fine._ Will I be seeing you again? Maybe this Saturday?”

“I can’t promise. It’s a very busy week.”

“I understand. Call me, okay?”

“I will.”

“Goodnight, Brucey.” This time Lauren settled with a kiss on his cheek. It was a tender kiss, but he felt nothing more than the contact between skin and lips.

“Goodnight, Lauren.” And she was gone.

But he wasn’t alone.

The realization felt odd.  He wasn’t alone.

The night was warm and quiet. And it was lovely, like Lauren had said. The moon wasn’t full, but its pearly light shone persistently through layers of cloud and pollution. The stars weren’t there, but the distant city lights twinkled just the same.

It was way past Dick’s bedtime, but he didn’t seem to mind anymore, because the shift in the silvery light just made the night all the more lovely.

For once he thought Gotham was beautiful again. For once he remembered how.

He would never tell anyone, but maybe it was because he wasn’t alone anymore.

And he smiled.


	3. Weekends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A day out for Bruce and Dick

Dick was bouncing around on fields of dark green grass and clovers. The sky was an undisturbed silvery grey and the slightest breeze ruffled its way through Dick’s tousles. There was a chill in the crisp mountain air, but Dick was never one to mind.

Dick bounded towards an ancient oak tree, its autumn foliage was a vibrant red and orange against the sky’s muted colors. He watched as Dick climbed into the oak’s branches, shaking a couple of withering leaves loose as he did.

“Look, Bruce! I can see a playground from here. And- Meadows and meadows full of sheep!”

“That’s a farm, Dick.”

“And look how fluffy they now are.”

“They need it to keep themselves warm. Their farmers will shear it back off in the spring when it gets too hot.”

“And their wool grows back every year?”

“Yes.”

“Can we go see them, Bruce?”

“Of course.”

Dick smiled, brilliant and beautiful.

Dick had always found such delight in the simplest of things. Yesterday it was the funny-shaped leaf he found, then it was the 60’s movie they watched together.

And now, Dick was smiling at the young sheep he was crouched next to.

Dick cooed softly at the creature and offered it some feed.

“That’s Molly.” Its caretaker said, “No more ‘an six months old.”

Molly languidly gnawed at the grass and fodder in Dick’s hand. Dick giggled and gently ran his free hand through Molly’s winter fleece.

“She’s so soft and fluffy, Bruce.” Dick looked up at him, and smiled. “She’s also really warm.” 

The caretaker was glancing at them oddly, but Bruce smiled back at Dick nonetheless. And if, perhaps, his smile didn’t nearly convey what he really wanted it to, Dick didn’t mind. Dick was never one to mind. Dick’s smile softened, and there was a sweetness to it that wasn’t there before.

For a moment, the chilly mountain air was almost warm.

“Bruce, do you think it’s going to rain?” Dick was hanging upside-down from a monkey bar, looking _down_ at the sky instead of up.

“Not until after the sun sets.”

“Do you think Alfred will mind if we come home a little late?”

“He won’t. Don’t worry about it.”

Dick made a happy sound as he flipped off the bars. The playground was empty, and it had probably been that way for a long time. Dick ran from one corner to the next, tireless and so full of life.

“Bruce,”

“Yes, Dick.”

“Do you think I can reach the highest bar without climbing?” Dick stretched and stood on his tip-toes, reaching his fingers for the bar. Dick jumped and reached again, but his fingers did not so much as graze the bar. Dick’s brow furrowed in concentration, and he tried again.

“Sure you can.” He wrapped his arms around the boy’s waist and hoisted him up. Dick made a surprised gasp, then laughed.

“That’s kind of cheating, Bruce.”

“No it wasn’t. You didn’t climb, did you?”

Dick grinned at him. Playful, as always.

While the sky’s grey gradually turned darker and the breeze’s chill grew damper, he watched Dick tumble and flip across the bars like he was born to do it. It was there in the confidence of his movements and the sheer fun he was having. Then, of course, Dick probably really was born to soar. And to fly. And to be magnificent.

“Watch out, Bruce!” And Dick somersaulted clean off the bar, hurtling towards him.

He caught Dick in his arms and Dick instantly wrapped himself around him. Dick was laughing. It was so easy to make Dick happy. It was so easy to pretend that everything was alright with Dick around.

Even when it started raining, with Dick, it was as if the sun had never ceased to shine.

“You were right, Bruce.” Dick was looking out of the window from their seat in the train. Dick loved trains, they reminded him of the long caravan trips with the circus. “It only just started raining now.”

Dick turned around to look at him, “Bruce, what if the sheep get wet?”

“They have a shed to stay in during the night. They won’t get wet.”

“Oh, that’s okay then.” Dick sank back into his seat and yawned.

“Get some sleep, Dick. We have an hour more to go.”

Dick yawned again and shuffled into his lap. He wasn’t as soft or warm as the sheep were, but Dick was never one to mind. Dick made a soft noise and snuggled into him as if he was the softest thing in the world.

“Can we do this more often?”

“Do you want to?”

“Yes.” And Dick’s smile told him all he needed to know.

“Then, of course.”

“Thanks, Bruce.” Dick smiled and rested his head on his chest. “I love you.”

And if for a heartbeat too long, all he did was silently stare back at Dick, Dick didn’t mind. Dick was never one to mind. The arm he gently wrapped around Dick was answer enough. Dick sighed softly and closed his eyes.

He would never tell anyone, but only when he was absolutely certain Dick was fast asleep, did he press his lips into Dick’s hair and softly whisper.

“I love you, Dick”

And on that train, with the sound of rain drizzling in the distance and Dick curled up at his chest safe and happy, he realized that he really did.

So very, very much.

 


	4. Light

He would never tell anyone, but once in his life he cried because he was happy.

The first time he realized he was falling -recklessly, desperately- in love with Dick, was the first time he realized that fathers do not love their sons the way he loved Dick. 

He should have realized sooner, during all the times Dick was in his arms, smiling and all warm and all his. But he once believed love was selfish and brittle and nothing like what he felt for Dick.

It was late when they finally came home from another night on the bloodied streets of Gotham. The fight had been long, and Dick was tired and aching and heartbroken. 

“I’m sorry, Bruce. I- I really am.”

“You were careless.”

“I told you I’m sorry. I just wanted to help.”

“You could’ve been killed.”

“I know Bruce, I know! I just- I-” There were tears in his beautiful blue eyes.

“Dick,” He wanted to touch him, comfort him, tell him how much he meant to him- But Dick was already gone, believing he had failed, believing he was unwanted. 

He should have realized sooner, when all he felt that moment was regret and such _longing_ his heart ached with it. But he once believed love was uncaring and unkind and nothing like what he felt for Dick. 

So he retired to bed alone, unable to sleep, falling in and out of shallow, distraught dreams, because Dick nearly got killed murdered shot Dick was unhappy Dick was hurt Dick was leaving Dick was going to leave him-

He couldn’t sleep.

\---

Much later that night, when the eastern horizon was a shade lighter than the rest of the sky, he heard a sound by his door. 

“Bruce?” It was Dick, cheeks wet and miserable, “I’ll be more careful next time. I’m sorry, Bruce, just please don’t- please don’t-”

And maybe he was tired or confused or just plain delirious, but the first thing he did was fall to his knees and wrap his arms around Dick. 

“Dick, I’m sorry.” If his voice trembled, he didn’t care, because Dick was hurt and it was all his fault.

“B- Bruce?” 

“I’m proud of you, Dick.”

He felt warm, delicate hands around his shoulders, “Bruce, I- I-” Dick sobbed. Then sobbed again, and again, until his voice was hoarse and his eyes stung.

“I love you, Dick.” 

And he should have realized by then, when he knew that his words were nothing but the truth, and that all he wanted was for Dick to let him love him. But he once believed that love was a lie he told himself and nothing as real as what he felt for Dick.

“Bruce,” Dick was breathless, and his voice was soft and gentle and warm in the darkness, “Bruce, I- I’ve loved you. Ever since that day in the circus.” Dick was so warm against him, and _so_ close, “I’d never thought you’d ever-”

Then he was looking into Dick’s wet eyes and his flushed cheeks and his smile that was light in the in the darkness- in _his_ darkness.

“I love you, Bruce.” 

And that was when he finally realized that love was everything he felt for Dick.

He had fallen in love with his son, his little Robin. With Dick. 

He would never tell anyone, but once in his life he cried because he was happy. It was when he had Dick in his arms, happy and loved, and in the solace of the dark and the shadows, he took Dick’s first kiss from him. 

It was more than he ever deserved, but Dick loved him all the same. 

And he loved Dick. His Robin. His light in the creeping dark. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally updated yay!!  
> Please tell me what you think about it, since I have a couple of ideas for the following chapters and I'm not sure if they are consistent.  
> Thanks for reading <3


End file.
